It is frustrating when you enter the University with a mountain of hope just to see them falling apart day by day. Many times, overthinking drives you mad, playing back the same scenes again and again at the back of your mind just to be reminded on how suffocating the world could be. To be reminded on how many occasions you have failed, the tests you have flunked, people you disappoint, the fake laughs that you hoped were real as the list goes on and on...
The sadness is dangerously addicting, even more dangerous than cocaine. They run in your blood and are unable to be flushed away from your system no matter how much you tried. You scream, you beg for mercy to get rid of all the self-destructing thoughts, just to open wide and bleed the same wound again, just to be laughed and teased by the voices again whose voices are too familiar and harsher than the people out there. Whose voices are ironically seemed to be your only true companion, a destructive companion.
Expecting life to always be easy leads you further down the rabbit hole of feeling terrible. The only way out of this is to......
// Sebenarnya nak bwt post yg acah-acah redha macamtu tapi nk buat the first 2 paraghraphs pun dah ambil mase so skrg dah mengantuk nak tido...lol lamenya aku -_- will edit whenever i feel like it lol. ciaoz
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